Rules

Many years ago a good friend of mine departed for the Air Force Academy in Colorado. We had often talked about how the military could change him, and perhaps this wouldn't be such a great thing—living in the conformity of military rules. Later on, in my naiveté, I admonished him to not let the Air Force change him. He replied, "you know, honestly I feel like I am even more myself." The strict discipline, the rigorous physical and mental challenges, the conformity, the rules, in fact, had shaped him and given him a sense of self, a confidence, and a freedom that neither of us expected.

Moments of ambiguity at work or at home, times when the right decision is unclear, situations when any decision seems to be the wrong one, even unstructured free time often seem to work against us in experiencing that profound sense of freedom.

Perhaps it seems counterintuitive, but rules provide freedom. It's taken many years for me to discover this, and quite honestly a little bit of pain too. Accomplishing any worthwhile thing takes tenacious discipline. It takes a rule. The Japanese author Haruki Murakami (The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle) wakes up every morning at 4 AM and writes for six hours straight. Every day. He goes to bed at 9 PM every night. This is his method of becoming an accomplished and popular author.

It's axiomatic that talent only takes a one so far.  Genius is "90% perspiration" as Thomas Edison famously noted, and it's true; the man or woman of high aspirations must doggedly pursue whatever goal has been entrusted to them.

Why would it be any different for the spiritual life? Why would the pursuit of prayer take less discipline than the pursuit of a career, an education or physical fitness? The spiritual geniuses we admire, St. Seraphim of Sarov, St. Maximus the Confessor, and hosts of other saints and martyrs were unwavering in their pursuit of the Holy Spirit.

Not many of us, and certainly not I, can approach that sort of discipline. Neither should we inflict our spiritual rules on other people. That's a good way to ruin relationships and make people hate you. Plus, it takes a special kind of egomaniac to dictate other's spiritual discipline.

Yet we need guidance. We can't know everything, and often we don't know that we don't know. Every accomplished athlete has a coach, every artist has a teacher, an influence, a direction. And so rules also open the way to true humility, so that when we fall short we can seek guidance from someone with more experience.*

*The caveat I'll offer is that distinguishing true spiritual guides from charlatans is challenging. Caution is the word.